literature

Henry- Somewhere He Belongs

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     Henry exhaled and gently nodded to himself, mentally preparing himself for the solo performance that he would give in a few minutes. It was all abuzz backstage of the Super Show 4 concert, and Henry holed himself up in a corner to get a moment's peace before it was his turn to take the stage.
     He fingered his violin in his hands, stroking the smooth, glossy wood. He could hear the screams of thousands of fans cheering on Leeteuk, the leader of the main group of Super Junior, as he crooned his romantic solo out to the passionate fangirls. He sighed again and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes as he tried to block out the sounds of the fans' frenzied yells.
     It has been over four years since Henry had first appeared with the extremely popular South Korean idol group, Super Junior. Things were rocky, to say the very least, in the beginning; but things have calmed down considerably since then. Gradually, he and Zhou Mi, the other Super Junior member that had been added after the original thirteen members had been established, were accepted by most Super Junior fans all over the world. However, to this day there are still some who stubbornly insist that they have no right to be there.
     Henry grimaced, his eyes still closed. He had thought that the Only 13 controversy had long ended, since he very rarely had any more hate comments directed at him or even Zhou Mi, but when they had the Super Show 4 concerts in Seoul there were still fans that turned off their sapphire blue glow sticks when he had stepped onstage for his solo. He remembered his heart aching as he saw the pockets of darkness among the vast ocean of sapphire blue lights that was the audience, but he had steeled himself anyway then and gave his performance all he got.
     Even though those pockets of darkness in the sapphire blue sea still signified that he wasn't fully accepted by all Super Junior fans, or E.L.F.s, as they are called, he was incredibly grateful that he wasn't performing against a sea of total darkness. The tiny blue pinpoints of light that had surrounded him in that concert told him that he did have fans, fans that loved him, fans that were screaming out his name in delight as he delivered his performance. He smiled, eternally thankful for every lit glow stick, for every fan that loved him. There had been a time when such a thing seemed impossible, a time when it seemed that the world hated him, a time when he almost wanted to give up his dream because everything seemed so hopeless.
     He remembered those first performances, all those screams from the crowd. The angry screams telling him that he didn't belong there, that he had no right to be there. He remembered those dark times when threats and curses were hurled at him nearly everywhere he went, no matter how much the other Super Junior members defended him. He remembered the many times he felt like breaking down and crying, right onstage, because of all the hate that was directed at him. He wasn't trying to intrude on the Super Junior "family". He wasn't trying to take over or replace any of them. He just wanted to do what he loved best, and share it with the world alongside the other Super Junior members.
     A single tear leaked out from the corner of Henry's eye at the memory. He suddenly opened his eyes and straightened up, hastily wiping the tear away from his eye before anyone could see. At that moment, he heard his name being called out, and he got up from his chair, clutching his violin and the violin's bow.
     "Henry-ssi! Where is Henry-ssi?! It's almost time for him to get onstage, Leeteuk-ssi is almost done his solo…"
     "I'm here!" Henry called out; stepping out of the quiet room he was in, into the bustling and noisy hallway. The coordinator that was looking for him visibly sighed in relief when he saw him, and strode up to him with a smile.
     "Are you ready?" The coordinator asked, still smiling as he led him towards one of the entrances of the stage.
     "Yes… yes, I am," Henry replied, and rubbed his eyes. The coordinator frowned at him, taking a closer look at his eyes.
     "Are you okay? Your eyes look a little red." He looked concernedly at Henry. "Do you need eye drops or something before you go onstage?"
     "No, no… I'm fine, I just… got something in my eye," Henry said quickly, nodding vigorously. "It's no problem at all."
     "You sure?"
     "Yes, I'm sure."
     The coordinator smiled at him again, and they reached the doorway to the backstage area. The screams of the fans were louder than ever; they were almost deafening. He could hear Leeteuk singing the last chorus of his solo, and judging by the intensity of the screams, he could tell that Leeteuk was handing out the last of his roses to some lucky fangirls.
     "Henry-ssi, we'll take your violin and get it ready to set it up onstage," another coordinator appeared beside him and held out his hands for Henry's violin and bow. Henry nodded and passed them to him, while another coordinator pressed a wireless microphone into his hands. Henry thanked the coordinator, and gripped the cool metal of the microphone, waiting for the last few minutes before he had to walk onstage to pass. He just had a moment to collect his thoughts, when he felt someone suddenly collide onto his back. Henry nearly lost his balance, and choked out in surprise.
     "Good luck, Henry!!" Donghae's bright voice said cheerily, as he gathered Henry into a tight bear-hug. Henry felt another weight added, and he was able to turn his head just enough to see the top of Siwon's head of perfectly coiffed black hair.
     "You'll do great!" he heard Siwon's voice say, and then they both let him go. Henry looked at the both of them, two of his elder Super Junior brothers, who were smiling at him brightly.
     "We managed to escape from the stylists for a little while to wish you luck, but they'll be hunting for us soon," Donghae grinned, looking cautiously over his shoulder.  
     "Aw, thanks guys," Henry smiled back at them appreciatively, and Siwon reached out and ruffled his hair affectionately.
     "Make all the E.L.F.s out there fall in love with you, okay?" he grinned, raising his thick eyebrows comically. Henry laughed at his friend's infamous eyebrows.
     "I'll try, hyung, I'll try."
     The screams of the audience had died down a little and Henry realized that Leeteuk's solo had ended, and the stage beyond them was dark. Siwon and Donghae turned towards the stage to see Leeteuk heading towards them.
     "Success!" Leeteuk cried out happily, his hands in the air, one of them still clutching his microphone. His face was shining with sweat and his expression was one of utmost exhilaration. "It's your turn now, Henry-ah!"
     "Yes, Teukie hyung," Henry smiled, and stuck out his microphone. "I'll give an awesome performance, I promise!"
     Leeteuk beamed and grabbed Henry in a tight hug, and then let go and urged him towards the stage. "Go, they're waiting for you already. Go!"
     Henry shot them one last smile as he made his way towards the stage. The coordinators around him did some last-minute checkups on his hair, clothes, and stage make-up, adjusting the hems of his pants and smoothing down the collar of his red plaid shirt.
     "Henry, hwaiting!!" Donghae called out after him, pumping his fist in the air as the coordinators did their final checkup on Henry and let him go. Henry turned one last time and waved at his three hyungs, and they waved back and smiled proudly at him. Henry grinned to himself and entered the semi-darkness backstage, which was swarming with stage hands. He made his way to the stairs leading to the main stage, and he climbed the stairs excitedly, his heart racing. Right before he was going to take the last few steps, he paused and inhaled, smiling to himself.
     This is it, he thought, and exhaled with a smile.
     "Henry-ssi! You're up!"
     Henry quickly turned around and saw the coordinator who had called him earlier at the foot of the stairs. He was smiling at him and he held his hand out, gesturing towards the stage.
     "Time to go!" the coordinator grinned. "Make the E.L.F.s go crazy!"
     Henry laughed and nodded at the coordinator, and stepped out onto the dark stage beyond.

     The sight of the vast sapphire blue sea of lit glow sticks knocked the breath out of him, as it always did whenever he saw it. He didn't have time to take a full survey of the sapphire sea, because he had to watch carefully where he was going on the dark stage. Henry walked straight towards the silhouette of the chair he was to sit on for the first part of his performance, picking up his guitar that stood beside the chair before sitting down. He settled himself down with his guitar and placed his microphone into its holder, and played the first few chords of his opening solo song Billionaire as the bright stage lights glowed to life.
     The fans screamed out in excitement, and he grinned in response. Strumming away on his guitar, he leaned closer to the mic, and began to sing.


     It was a few minutes later, and the performance was going extremely well, even better than Henry had hoped. The fans screamed and cheered at all the right times, and Henry felt exhilarated with every word he sang and with every note he played from his guitar, piano, and finally, violin.
     He was at the last part of his performance, playing a rendition of Lighters on his violin after singing it and playing it on the piano. He closed his eyes, drinking in the sound of his violin as he pulled the bow across the strings. He put all his emotions and soul into playing, and he felt like he was in his own world, just him and his violin.
     He strained out the last high note from his violin, ending with a flourish. The audience exploded with excited screams and applause as he did, bringing Henry back to the present. He opened his eyes to see the sapphire points of light in the audience waving around madly, the roar of the crowd deafening. He looked out to the vast crowd around him, slowly lowering his violin as his mouth dropped open softly in shock.
     There wasn't a single black space among the sapphire blue sea. The blocks of space that held the audience were full and unbroken, each and every person's glow stick was lit, waving ecstatically at his performance.
     Henry felt like he couldn't breathe. It felt like the air was being squeezed out of his lungs. This has never, never happened to him before at any Super Show concert…

     It was at this moment that Henry felt that everything, everything he had to go through to get there was absolutely worth it. As he gazed out to the full, sapphire blue sea around him, he couldn't hold back the happy tears that threatened to fall.
     "Thank you," he half-laughed, half-cried out to the sapphire blue sea. "Thank you."
     And he bowed down low to them, surrounded all around by the bright blue lights, exactly where he belonged.
I actually wrote this oneshot fic a couple of months ago, but just finished it now ^ ^; it was nearly done, but I didn’t really sit down and finish it until now. I was propelled to finish it thanks to my friend :iconmmh1516:, whose Henry wallpaper made me remember this fic ^ ^

I was suddenly inspired to write this oneshot after watching various videos about the Only 13 controversy along with Henry’s amazing SS4 performance (you can watch it here: [link] ). I really admire Henry a lot, and of course I support him and Zhou Mi as true members of Super Junior. It made me so angry to think about what Henry and Zhou Mi had to go through, so I wanted to write something from Henry’s point of view, his thoughts about performing onstage. Of course, I can never know what really goes through his mind before he performs, but I hope that I was able to portray him realistically to some extent ^ ^;

If I were to put a certain date on the SS4 in this fic, it would have to be sometime earlier this year (some random city, I guess ^ ^; ). I have no idea if there was an SS4 where Henry was met with a full sapphire blue sea in his solo, because from the fancams that I’ve watched so far, there have always been pockets of darkness in the audience ;___; but, I noticed, that in all the fancams I’ve watched, by the end of his solo there really are less black spaces in the sea, and I hope that means that those antis were moved by Henry’s performance ^ ^ Oh, and I actually have no idea whose solo was before Henry’s, so I just put in Teukie ^ ^; I’m sorry if I’m wrong! XD


And Henry, if you ever read this (and you probably won’t… but still ^ ^; ) I just wanted to say that this fic is for you ^ ^ you really are an inspiration, and practically all of the ELFs I know love you and Zhou Mi. Stay strong, and please continue to be the amazing person that you are ♥
© 2012 - 2024 Lanaleiss
Comments9
elfgirlunltd's avatar
Wow! This was so amazing!! Henry~ the last part was so sweet! I hope one day there will DEFINITELY be no black spaces in the audience for him. He deserves every ELF's love. ^^
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